caterpillar talk

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."
–Tom Stoppard

1. drats. i should stop listening to love songs. sad love songs.

2. aha, diving! i want to try scuba diving. i will try scuba diving. i am interested in sky diving. i am willing to try sky diving. oh, can you picture the thrill?! if it weren't for air resistance, sky diving wouldn't be a sport. it would only be plain suicide… and quite an expensive one at that. plus… plus… as they say, when it comes to sky diving, if at first you don't succeed, there's no next time. wehehehe.

3. can feel, can tell. can hear, can see. can live, can thrive. i swear, i'll bear. can't hurt, can't risk. can't want, can't have. too numb, too tired. i commit, i surrender. hmpf! noooooooo… that's it! i believe i have low EQ. i think i am emotionally unstable. duh, so much for trying to be rational.

4. i am determined to reach batanes before i turn 24. uhm, we'll see what happens to this determination.

5. i am still confused — very, very confused — and somewhat depressed. it doesn't show in my everyday though. see, i am h.a.p.p.y. (and my fingers are crossed behind my back. bleh.)

6. this blog will turn two years old on may 28. weeeeeeeeee… happy birthday, my bloggy! mwah.

7. i am going to watch the movie version of dan brown's the da vinci code. i've read the book a long time ago and i am interested to see tom hanks as robert langdon and audrey tautou as sophie.

8. i think i wanna be clarice starling, if only to get the chance of being face to face with (and earning the favor of) the brilliant and very cunning dr. hannibal lecter.

9. OMG, it's may! yes, i am aware that it's may.

10. i ought to eat yellow cab pizza again soon. i think i'm already suffering from withdrawal syndrome. my trips to sbarro didn't help. ack! patay, adik na talaga.

11. i need another vacation. as in. sun, sea, sand, and open air here i come! waaaaaaa, teka… ba't bumabagyo na?

12. what's up with the philippine political scene lately? same picture? same people? same problems?

13. i almost forgot that it was just last night when i watched mission: impossible iii. i didn't have expectations when i entered the movie house, so i did not have disappointments. i agree that the lamborghini's such a nice car.

14. no day but today. i still hear it in my head: RENT's roger is singing, who do you think you are? barging in on me and my guitar? little girl - hey, the door is that way… and mimi sings out her heart-tugging reply. whew! were you able to watch RENT?

15. i still have to learn how to drive a car on a busy road. bump cars and karts are different. i want to drive the real thing. i want speeeeeeeeeeeed. aws, busy road and speed don't really go together. ha ha.

16. i just learned a few hours ago that my campus in iligan is already a wifi zone. in fact, it has been since mid-march. whoa, how come i found out late?

17. i am currently craving for fruitshakes. i haven't eaten halo-halo nor ice cream this month, and that is quite unusual.

18. how are you doing, people? i'm curious.

19. i want to read another work of carl sagan. i gotta find another sagan book.

20. who me? no, not me. i break but i won't fall apart.

i took the nerd/geek/dork test at okcupid.com. for being honest, i got…

Modern, Cool Nerd
78% Nerd, 73% Geek, 34% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn’t use to be cool, but in the 90’s that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn’t quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and “geek is chic.” The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 91% on nerdiness.
You scored higher than 96% on geekosity.
You scored higher than 55% on dork points.

oh well. results show that i’m undeniably nerdy and geeky. mwahahaha. i’m damn proud of that fact. i surely won’t mind if someone’ll call me “nerd” (or “geek”) straight to my face. after all, not everybody gets to be like that.

now, it’s your turn to find out what you are… go here. perhaps, you’ll enjoy answering the other tests, too.

no, i don’t have an account there.

last weekend, me and my gal pals from high school were supposed to knockout a bottle of tequila. we thought better and opted for a food trip (with “emotional” sidetrips) and a movie marathon instead.

having set our minds to ignore the liquor stand and the tempting bottles of vodka, we explored the food section and bought black forest ice cream, vegetable salad, fresh milk, french fries, chicken hotdogs, pancit canton, jelly ace, cornicks, potato chips, ridges, cheese rings, marshmallows, grapes, mangoes…

hours later, we got comfortable in front of the tv set, munching whatever we could grab and blabbing whatever we could blab about as we waited for the stories of the “old” movies to unfold…

we started our movie marathon with reality bites (1994) — a trip down memory lane with winona ryder, ethan hawke, ben stiller and the “so-90’s” soundtrack. we giggled when we heard my sharona (this song just brings a lot of very funny high school memories), listened closely to tempted, went “awwww… naks” with baby, i love your way, and sang with lisa loeb during the end credits because of stay.

we were supposed to watch before sunrise (1995) and before sunset (2004), too, but i did not bring my “before movies” boxset (sue me!). thus, what could have been a movie marathon of ethan hawke starrers didn’t happen. instead, we went further back to the past with walt disney’s the little mermaid (1989).

we wondered how we got giddy over prince eric and ariel’s love story back then. with the likes of nemo and corpse bride already around, the little mermaid animation looks too old now… but the soundtrack is still something.

Under the sea, under the sea… darlin’ it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me… Up on the shore they work all day, out in the sun they slave away while we devote full time to floating under the sea…

we slept for awhile after the first cd and when we woke up, we popped in the second cd and got to see sebastian the crustacean again, singing…

awwww… just kiss the girl! kiss the girl, quick! the little mermaid. so girly. so girly. hehehe.

hoy, where’s the milk?

while having a very tummy-filling breakfast, we went further back to the past and had love story (1970). love means never having to say you’re sorry. awwww… senti. in between trying to really catch the lines said by oliver the preppy and his jenny, we paid attention to the “nostalgia-inducing” musical score as it played several times during the movie — hearts could either fly or die with a score like that — no wonder it won an oscar.

then, there was annie (1982) — the movie that came out in the same year we were born, ha ha ha…

annie’s “tomorrow” must be the official theme song of those who are prone to procrastinate.

note: just in case you’re wondering, this good weekend with the beautiful and “ang b-baby” gal pals ended with my feeling the pain.

because i’m a tag victim…

the tag says:

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

the target: male human being

the 8 points:

:: has to be cool and crazy… (most of the time, that is); has to be tolerant of occasional stupidity and eccentricity.

:: has to meet the “IQ prerequisite”. if he exceeds it, the better. (it would definitely be better if he does not suffer from “IQ-EQ mismatch”, hehehe). smart. witty. intelligent slash cerebral slash geeky WITH CONSCIENCE AND A HEART. in other words, level-headed.

:: faithful. to me. to his ideals. to me. to me. to me. hehehe.

:: adventurous and fun-loving.

:: loving and sweet and… what else? nah, not someone who will be breathing down my neck 24/7.

:: master communicator. verbal and non-verbal communication skills have to be more than satisfactory.

:: spiritually healthy.

:: has to be someone who looks pleasing to my eyes; has to have nice eyes, nice smile, and a body to die for. FYI, i have a very unreliable eyesight, hahaha. that means, if someone gets a point for having good looks, it really doesn’t mean much… so duh.

p.s. you’re all tagged. yes, i know i’m not really following instructions.

i got tagged by her. i’m supposed to share 20 random facts about me, so here’s my list: from one to twenty…

1. i am a southpaw. that means i’m left-handed.

2. my approximate weight is 85 lbs. i am so light. i ought to eat more.

3. i tend to bite my drinking straw. it’s something i do unconsciously. i should drink straight from the glass or the bottle — it’s healthier and earth-friendly that way.

4. i eat instant noodles/pancit canton only once in a blue moon. it’s not that i don’t like it. i’m not allergic to it either.

5. one of my labmates challenged me to gain at least five pounds over the christmas break. we had a bet and i really wanted to win. i lost. she won the bragging rights. she should have just challenged me to lose weight instead. ha ha!

6. to date, i only have two god children. they’re both boys.

7. when i was nine, i thought i’d never survive past eighteen. i wasn’t sickly so i don’t really know why i thought that way. needless to say, the universe proved me wrong. thank God!

8. i stopped biting my nails in 2003.

9. when i eat watermelon, i make it a point to eat the small brown seeds one by one. sometimes, i patiently open each one of them just so i could eat their white parts bare.

10. i could count with my fingers the number of times i go to church to attend mass in a year. i regularly pray though. my family is religious.

11. if there’s one thing i don’t want to re-live, it’s college graduation. gawd, that was the day when my own legs barely supported me.

12. i often think that i haven’t really outgrown my stage of ‘terrible twos’. until now, i’m so quick at saying ‘no’ even in times when i should say ‘yes’.

13. i have a thin triangular scar on the left side of my face. i have it because i was accidentally hit with the handle of a small guitar by one of my uncles and his cousin when they were horseplaying. i don’t think they remember, but i do.

14. i love eating ice cream even when it’s so cold outside.

15. there’s a reason to believe that my language of distress is english.

16. i can’t remember when i last chewed sugarcane. it must be more than ten years ago.

17. i learned how to ride a bike on my own, and i didn’t get bruises and scrapes while i was just learning. i got the nasty looking scar on my left knee only years after — after i fell off the bike one fine day and a sharp stone cut through my skin. major ouch! my fault ‘coz i chose a rocky road.

18. i like skittles. they’re my favorite candies.

19. canals are really danger zones for me. my clumsiness tends to manifest itself whenever i’m near them. no, i haven’t really found myself bathed with canal water… but close…

20. currently, there are only two songs looping in my winamp: kiss from a rose by seal and mig ayesa’s version of baby, i love your way. last week was reggae week, maling akala by brownman revival was on repeat mode.

whew! i thought doing this was easy. would you believe? it took me more than a week to complete this list! AND because you read this, you’re tagged! ha ha ha!!!

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping
for that which has been your delight.
–Kahlil Gibran

remember this?

somebody ripped it off my wall. i don’t know where the big piece is now and i don’t wanna go looking for it — i’m trying to avoid more pain. most likely it’s in one of those big trash bins, crumpled and torn. i imagine it must have been carelessly thrown away… in the same manner that it was torn off as indicated by the bits of yellow crepe paper left on the wall.

the one who ripped it off didn’t know how much i valued what was taken. if only the person had known, if only i had known beforehand my work’s fate… perhaps it could have been saved.

it’s beyond saving now.

when i realized it was gone and saw the torn yellow bits stuck on the wall, anger welled up in me and i thought i was going to explode. i did not. the more i looked at the yellow bits, the more i was made aware of my loss and i just wanted to cry. gawa ko ‘yon eh, pinaghirapan ko ‘yon… tapos... argh! i didn’t cry — i stopped myself from doing so because i didn’t want my roommate to see me crying. heck, i can talk about crying but i don’t want anyone to see me crying. as i’ve said, i didn’t cry… ‘though i wanted to.

i didn’t cry but i felt defeated. i only had 1.5 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours and i got back to my room tired… and what was there waiting to greet me?

not warmth but the empty wall.

the absence of a symbol of comfort and something personally valuable and irreplaceable.

another embrace from the feeling of loss.

the latest addition to my piled up frustrations and blues.

-¤-

finding meme oh!

i got tagged by the trickmeister and in the spirit of friendship and blog-citizenship, i’m gonna do this 23/5 thing…

So, here are the instructions:
1. Go to your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence or closest to it.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

my 23rd post is time travel — posted last year on the 27th day of august. the 5th sentence of the said post is ‘5 years ago, i was a college freshie and was finally free from wearing uniforms!’ ngeork. if you’re game for this, you’re IT!