caterpillar talk

04.16.08. taking this photo jolted me back to reality

i set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. but when i woke up, i had to rush because i was already running an hour late. what was i thinking relying on that alarm!? duh.

i managed to squeeze in my usual hour’s worth of morning rituals into 20 minutes and by 6:50 a.m., i was out of my place and making my way to work.

i hailed a tricycle to take me to where the company shuttle usually picks me up for my 7 o’clock ride.

time check: 6:50 a.m.
reality check: a tricycle ride from my place of stay to pick-up point takes at least 15 minutes.

boy, was i running late! worse, the driver of the tricycle decided to take a detour to the gasoline station. i wanted to blurt out, “manong, ma-le-late na po ako!” but i held back and bit the tip of my tongue as an attempt at temper management. inside, i was seething. argh. of all days! of all times! how can a potentially good day start bad?

“Lord, help me.”

my patience was thinning out so early in the morning. i mustered for control over the temper that was about to blow over. i tried to divert my attention to what’s around me and, in the distance, i saw the rising sun. i told myself i should take a picture of it, so i did.

it may not be the best sunrise photo but it’s something worth sharing. when i took it, i experienced a turning point.

as i was fumbling with my phone, getting ready to take my shot, i noticed the time. the display said, 5:57 a.m.

wham!

all along, i was moving disoriented, warped. when i woke up and read 5:30 a.m., i mistook it for 6:30 a.m. ding di ding!!!

bwahahahahahaha…

just when i thought i was running an hour late, i was, in fact, being one hour early. (kay naunsa ka, val?)

one thing i did not fail to recognize, He was quick in answering my simple prayer. His timing’s impeccable.

i needed that experience, that morning, that day to remind me that, yes, He’s still watching over me and paying attention even to the smallest of my utterances.

“People killin’, people dyin’,
Children hurt, hear them cryin’
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?”
– Where is the Love?

click here for more pictures

a dead monk’s badly bruised body in murky waters. a young protester shot dead, his life snuffed and his body in blood. a lifeless man with a bloody hole on his head. a dead japanese cameraman. when the monks and nuns of burma went to the streets to lead a peaceful demonstration against the junta and to ask for reforms, those were the answers they (and the world) got — crackdown and a round of atrocities.

the monasteries were emptied, the monks are nowhere to be found. news that manage to trickle from burma say countless arrests have been made, people live in more fear, and there is a death toll that does not stop at 9. with a brutal crackdown by the military, who knows where the count stops?

the things i saw through the pictures call to mind what happened in rwanda and cambodia. the world is made aware of what’s happening and does close to nothing ’til dead bodies pile up and up. the world watches… as people suffer and more and more of their human rights are violated.

the UN mission was not successful — the blunt term, of course, is ‘failed’. what is to be done? just watch?

people of the world, do something.

“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.”
– Alexander Pope

image source: pon and zi gallery

umpisa tayo sa salitang pakshet na ang ibig sabihin ay… pakshet. well, yun na yun. tapos yada yada yada, manira ng mga pakshet (kaya nga pakshet), magpaka-bitter, yada yada yada… until umabot sa pakshet ending.

ito’y isang artik na nabuo dahil sa request ng isang tao diyan.

may kaibigan ako, sam ang pangalan niya. hindi kasi siya makapagblog dahil sa isang major pakshet reason kaya sabi niya ako na lang daw magblog tungkol sa pakshet.

normally, di ko ginagawa ‘to. tingnan mo na lang, sa title pa lang, may mura na. tapos bitter-bitteran mode pa ang required para makasulat ng ganito. gusto ko sana more on good vibes nasa blogsite ko. pero di ba, paminsan-minsan dapat lumihis ng daan?

ang mga kwentong masakit sa bangs, bow.

sandamakmak na ang mga pakshet na kwento pero people just can’t get enough… mahal mo, di ka mahal. hindi mo mahal, mahal ka. mahal mo, mahal ka pero dahil sa mala-nobelang twists and turns na dadaigin pa yata ang mga nasa soap operas, hindi kayo… or hindi na kayo. pwedeng mahal mo, mahal ka pero pareho kayong di alam na patay na patay pala kayo sa isa’t-isa. pwede ring yung mahal mo, ang mahal niya, mahal ka… awww. nakakatuwang nakakabaliw. so pakshet talaga.

leche siya
as in???
hahahahaha
bwisit pa
oo nga leche sila shet
ayan… shet din siya
bwahahahahaha pakshet?
wahaahah, di nila alam minumura na natin sila
magkwento ka naman aliwin mo ko
yoko magkwento. mapapamura lang din ako. tapos may-i-bring-back-all-the-pain chuvaness, wag na

naku, pwede talagang makabuo ng mala-thesis na compilation of pakshet stories. mapapalitanya pa tayo sa mura nyan…

ba’t kasi pagdating sa mga bagay na may kinalaman ang emosyon, nababading na lahat. self-preservation first ang drama. kaya kahit ikawindang na ng buhay at bumabaha na ng pakshet emotions, kailangang mag-hold back at indahin ang pakshet. sa ganun talaga.

kahit anong isipin mo, di pa rin magbabago tingin mo sa kanya, ganun talaga yun, kaya nga pakshet di ba? kasi in spite and despite all yung drama… umayaw ka na, affected ka pa rin. kilig. selos. asar. emo. achus.

e sa ganon lang talaga e. minsan bratty talaga ang heart nyahahahaha

magkauban ka pa sa sobrang inis, kumanta ka pa ng mga achy-breaky songs, ma-solve man ng mga luha mo ang water crisis, mag-compare-compare ka pa ng mga worst pakshet stories of all time, wala pa rin. pakshet pa rin.

pwede na yatang magnegosyo ng dingding para lahat ng may iniindang pakshet ay doon mag-uuntog ng ulo. ba’t di na lang kasi magkaisa at itulak sa pakshet bangin ang mga pakshet sa world? so, therefore, there was… pakshet nga yung kwento.

umpisa sa pakshet, matatapos sa pakshet. maybe not. short lang ang buhay, kelangang gawing makulay. i-conquer ang pakshet. celebrate! celebrate!

p.s.
(1) ayan sam, pinagbigyan kita. malakas ka pala sa akin? nyahahaha. gudlak na lang sa yo pag yung pakshet mo napadpad dito at ma-gets niyang napasulat mo ako ng pakshet dahil sa kanya, wahahaha.

(2) sa mga na-pakshet dahil sa akin: oist, malay ko ba. wag nyo ko pagbintangan. peace tayo, okies?

“He should’ve said goodbye before he left”
– from the K-series, Full House

you tenacious little fighter, you have to stop being difficult. otherwise, this just might be where we part ways.

do not ask me for him anymore. i’ve done more than enough to help your cause. i already let you have your way. do not ask me to do more.

you are one great heart but he doesn’t feel you.

the sooner you believe that and the sooner you accept that you will never ever be his priority, the better for my sanity you will be.

hu-whaaat?

argh. kakasabi ko lang na tumigil ka na. gud lak na lang sa ‘yo.

FOR SALE: one foolish heart. too tenacious for my own good.

i’m currently sharing a room with a hag. a bitch. i don’t want to refer to her as a roommate because she only does injustice to how dearly the term means to me.

for having been assigned to a room inhabited by someone like her, i consider myself unlucky. i started sharing the room with her last november 8 and only close to a month of sharing space with her has already proven to be not good for me.

ha! fortunately for me, i don’t have to endure sharing a room with her for so long. i’ll be out of here in a week or so and, yes, i won’t have to bear her uncool and suffocating presence anymore.

how could i have been so optimistic to believe that i’d get to enjoy her company like i did with my previous roommates?!? argh. i should have not forgotten that there’s really such a thing as generation gap… and that a bitch could also come in the form of an ugly old pig who would make an issue on whatever little noise you make when she wants to sleep. like i don’t have the right to move nor use my celphone to merely text a friend because my doing so keeps her awake?

i was texting one of my friends regarding a planned out of town one dawn time (about 1:30 am?) when she unexpectedly turned in her bed and blurted out “hay naku, dili man ta makatulog nimo <insert my name here> oi!” (in tagalog, that’s equivalent to saying: hay naku, hindi tayo makakatulog nang dahil sa ‘yo!)

when i heard that, it immediately registered on me that she found the very soft sound resulting from my tapping of the keys disturbing, so i quickly let go of my phone, said “sorry,” and closed my eyes in a quick attempt to chase sleep. i never thought she had more to say…

but pathetic person that she is, she further said, “pirmi na lang na nimo ginabuhat! maglisod tag tulog tungod sa imo. saba kaayo. magrespeto pud unta ka sa uban. natulog na makamata sa imong saba.” (palagi mo na lang ‘yang ginagawa! nahihirapan tayong makatulog nang dahil sa ‘yo. ang ingay. matuto ka sanang rumespeto sa iba. natutulog na, nagigising dahil sa ingay mo.)

leche man diay siya! how would i have known that i was disturbing her sleep for days already when she only complained about it that time and didn’t tell me so before? and, for crying out loud, i’m doing as minimal noise as i could whenever i’m in the room with her (and most especially when she’s already asleep) and i’m not even talking aloud nor making calls in the dead of the night!!! how could texting be a crime when my keys don’t register decibels like her coughing and snoring??!!

i suddenly learned that, in addition to the unwritten “the main light should not be turned on” law when she’s already asleep, there’s also an equally unwritten “no texting” law being enforced in our room.

excuse me, but i’ve never ever had that kind of issue with those i’ve previously shared rooms with. BUT then my previous roommates were as young as i am and very far from being fugly like her. maybe she’s only in her forties? duh.

she has the nerve to make a fuss on the slight noise i make? what does she want?

well, for the record, her celphone’s keys are noisier than my phone’s keys. the sound that she makes when she’s still tapping her lousy laptop’s keyboard and i’m already in bed trying to sleep also registers in my ears. her coughs at dawn scare me and really disturb me from my sleep. everytime i hear her cough, i fear she’s gonna either be choked to death or her lungs will spill out of her mouth.

did she hear me complain about her keyboard tapping?!? or of her coughing? or of the smell of food that persists in our room everytime she violates the “no eating inside the rooms” written rule being enforced in our dorm? or of how i felt slightly violated that she moved around the things on my side of the room without my permission? or of how she bossed me into forming the christmas socks that she wanted to decorate our door with? or of how tacky the christmas socks look because she does not know any better? of course not! i’ve been quite considerate. i did not make an issue out of any of those…

but after her uber-exaggerated reaction and hearing the “pirmi…” blahblahs that she blurted out, i’ve decided that she no longer deserves my goodwill. she is a fugly bitch and i don’t care if her family believes otherwise.

she only has to provoke me just one more time, then she’ll have to deal with a barrage of counter-offensives. just one more… and i’ll give her war. just because she’s older does not mean that she can always have her way.