caterpillar talk

“People choose the paths that gain them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort — that’s a law of nature — and you defied that.”
– Dr. Gregory House of House, MD

‘not going anywhere good’

had i affirmed that phrase, had i believed in it, it would have held true.

BUT never did i and never will i.

i examined the basis and found it wanting.

i have learned to choose the words i take to be true — not out of juvenile denial but out of wisdom. i will believe only those that are worth affirming. a negative phrase like that, when left unchecked and unopposed, can snowball. words, after all, are powerful.

imagine if i had no mind of my own. if i bought that phrase hook, line, and sinker, i would have allowed myself to be irreversibly tricked of and robbed of a meaning, and i would have been sent running away from my life’s path.

i guess, in my case, defiance is a gift. i am carrying on with the road i was left with because i still believe in it. without wax.

it is mine to care for and live for. it is something i often prayed i could tirelessly fight for.

just because it is a rough road it does not mean that it is not the right path. there are surprises to be had and blessings are poured on those who have the courage to labor for them, thereby, deserving them. the best fruits of the path are revealed only to those who dare not turn their back when blocked with obstacle after obstacle after obstacle. faith has its rewards, unwavering faith moreso.

to you who said it, it’s been awhile but i am pretty sure our paths will cross again… soon. don’t take that as a threat.

it’s an invitation.

“In the right light, at the right time,
everything is extraordinary.”
–Aaron Rose

i spent the last week of 2007 practically sprinting from here to there and spent the first day of 2008 in a similar way. whew! you can say “LAAGAN!” and i’d just chuckle.

i was still in tangub city with my family when one of my awesome friends — sealdz — sent out an invitation to watch 2007’s last sunset in OUR iligan. knowing i’d be back just in time, i said yes to the invitation… and la daaa daaaaaaa… swish swish flick! just take a look at the photo album i published in multiply to get glimpses of what i and a few of my hometown-slash-great friends said yes to! it’s quite a year-end special.

the wonderful sunset experience was made even better because somebody — a stranger to us — approached us and asked if he could take pictures of our group. since it was a dslr nikon camera that we saw him cradling, we didn’t dare refuse and we became instant models!

we had fun with the point-and-shoot cameras that we brought with us. we had more fun when somebody aimed his dslr cam at us and the sunset.

actually, with the sunset-painted sky as our oh-so-natural backdrop, only our shadows could be seen in the fantastic shots… but they were such fantastic shots! they’ll definitely find their way to our respective friendster (& whatever) pages once we get hold of our own copies.

by the way, ENJOY 2008!

“All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been convinced that the fate of the empires
depends on the youth.”
– Aristotle

october 2007. cam-whoring with friends

when i left iligan for the nth time, i brought with me one of my old notebooks. i browsed through the pages and saw the smorgasbord of items i’ve written down so far. these items are basically quotes or thoughts i’ve jotted down while paying attention to other people…

to be a hero, you don’t have to die or be assassinated. you just have to give your best.

it does not matter how small or big the thing you do is; what matters is that you do it even if it goes unnoticed.

wherever you are, whatever you do, you are a missionary.

“ang buhay na hindi inalay sa dakilang layunin ay tulad ng isang puno na walang lilim.” — emilio jacinto

let that beautiful span speak to you. sit there quietly and let God speak to you.

can you speak in a language that the man on the street can understand?

you are born to live. if you don’t live, shame on you!

leadership by example… how we live , the life choices that we make make us who we are.

it is not what i say, it is what i do (that counts). it is the life choices that i make that make me credible.

on a mentor… todo-bigay manalita. he makes things sink in. tumatayo ang balahibo ko everytime i hear him speak — too few people can get to me like that. he really inspires and moves people. he knows the language of the man on the street.

personal reflection guide: how did my parents educate me?

the person who does not know how to reflect is living an unmeaningful life.

dare to dream. dare to pay the price of your dream or abandon your dream.

the most eloquent speech you can make — your life!

“sa laking kaguluhan sa paghahanap-buhay, nawala ang dahilan kung bakit nabubuhay.”

“there is no word more tragic than the word ‘empty’ when it’s time to go.”

i can make my life very beautiful.

learn to hug your kids.

minsan, makulit ang tadhana. ang isang bagay, ‘pag para sa ‘yo talaga, kahit anong iwas mo, kukulitin ka ng tadhana para tanggapin mo lang ang kung ano ang para sa ‘yo talaga.

i fear but i have faith and my faith is greater than my fear.

END of thoughts from an old notebook

quick sharing: i get to realize more and more that God really knows how to bless those who put their trust in Him. it took awhile and a lot of uncertainty and confusion before my prayers got answered but with the way things are happening in my life right now, i can say that every one of them’s worth the wait. i asked for patience, He gave me so much more.

i once asked a trusted friend to help me pray and, instead of promising anything, my friend gave me this simple yet very meaningful advice: “just trust in the goodness of God’s heart whatever happens.”

after going here and there, i’m currently living an adventure in sta. rosa, laguna. i haven’t finished processing all the necessary papers yet, but here i am — bubbling and excited that i’m part of a new company’s start-up team. i’m using a brand-new macbook which i get to take home with me everyday. (opening the oh-so-sealed apple box felt like opening a very-much-wanted early christmas present). i’m working for (and with – they’re down to earth) great bosses. i’m back to being a useful slave and i have found new friends and allies in my co-workers.

i don’t know yet if this is really the path that will lead me to my dreams BUT here’s really, really hoping and looking forward to a downpour of (more) blessings.

wobbly steps first, surefootedness will come after. stay safe, wish, believe, and do well! wish to hear from you.

“The most important trip you may take in life
is meeting people halfway.”
– Henry Boye

a look at my octobers definitely says october is a month of trips and travels for me.

october 2004
manila - tagaytay - manila
manila - cagayan de oro - iligan - tangub

october 2005
manila - iloilo - guimaras - iloilo - bacolod - around negros - dumaguete - dapitan - ozamis - iligan - tangub

october 2006
manila - corregidor - manila
manila - cagayan de oro - iligan - davao - samal - davao - iligan - ozamis - tangub

october 2007
the previous years’ tradition of having multiple destinations during the month of october — my kind of oktoberfest, i must say — shall live on. from here to where? it’s a hush!

“It is not down in any map; true places never are.”
– Herman Melville

actually, this is my way of declaring a hiatus. as i have a lot of serious matters to deal with, i’ll probably be gone a long time so ta ta. if you need to hear from me, you’ll know how to reach me.

off i go. see you when i see you!

“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.”
– from mad girl’s love song by sylvia plath

when i was five, i spent a year in kindergarten and earned a treasure trove of memories which, up to this day — almost 20 years after — i can still vividly recall.

i first arrived at the schoolhouse as a kinder 1 (k1) pupil but, on that same day, i went home as a kinder 2 (k2) kid. the one who brought me to school was told that, based on the teaching team’s observation, i was already articulate enough to mingle with the k2 students and that i’d be better off there. based on my own observation, however, the real reason was this: the k1 teacher already had too many kids to look after. anyway, it was my luck.

(if i was made to stick it out in k1 that year, i would have belonged to another batch. it’s difficult to imagine not being batchmates with the people who turned out to be my batchmates, if you get what i mean — no ids99 for me, no p62003 for me either. say drama but, seriously, i can’t bear the thought. ;P)

our schoolhouse was, to my then little girl’s eyes, something straight out of children’s books and children’s movies. it was wooden and had that country cottage feel. there was an old acacia tree in front of it and, not far from it, was a green field lined with trees. the single-storey wooden structure we called classroom was in stark contrast to the three-story concrete building hiding it from clear view. (the schoolhouse was located at the back of the engineering building in that same university campus where i was to go for high school and college some years later. if loyalty awards were to be handed out, i’d be a recipient!)

i remember some of my classmates and the things that made them stand out in my memory bank.

there was a boy called amai who was always the first one to finish the individual activities. his female counterpart was a girl named christina. that girl had a lot of barbie dolls (back in the day, more than two was a lot considering the times then). there was a boy the rest of us couldn’t talk to because he was very unfriendly — for that reason, i forgot his name. if one of us ever approached him, all he said was a hostile sentence and it always ended with “baboy ka!” i think the only one he allowed to talk to him was our teacher.

there was lyzah, always looking for her mother. there was fern, never late and a natural leader inside the schoolroom. there was cyril, energetic like a wriggler and too soft for a boy. there was ranran. there was eldani. to them were often assigned the special roles of our class presentations. (little did i know then that, years after, eldani would become one of my drinking/gimik buddies in manila. hehe.) there was phil, nonchalant. there was janlou, shy, silent and well-behaved. i was closest to angel, tingting, and roxanne. angel was my buddy-buddy during class-hours, it was tingting who often squealed on me, and roxanne was my after-class buddy.

our teacher was miss josephine damgo. i heard she got married but i’ll always remember her as miss josephine damgo — very lady-like and thoughtful. very kind though she was, i received punishment from her — once — when fern complained that she was left out of the game i initiated. all of us in our playgroup were called forth and, after being reminded of good manners and right conduct, miss damgo lightly slapped our palms with a foot-long orions plastic ruler… just for the sake of additional disciplinary measure, i bet. (lol, orions! i didn’t do any bullying but i got in hot water… all because i started blue bird, blue bird on my window — i forgot the mechanics of this game.)

maybe i got punished twice…

back then, i was already observant and had no problem speaking out whatever’s on my mind. when we were preparing our graduation presentation, i noticed that two of my classmates got multiple role assignments and the rest did not. i wondered about this openly and, by so doing, inadvertently called attention to myself. some casting changes were done and i ended up having an additional role — that of a talking bird. in fairness, it wasn’t what i wanted… had i only known. as a talking bird, i had to deliver a memorized speech about the environment all on my own. as if all things bright and beautiful wasn’t already long enough to memorize! (complete with actions and voice & facial expressions, our entire class recited that beautiful poem from start to finish).

it was in kindergarten that i first got acquainted with poster colors. we used a lot of them during our art activities. we were allowed to let go of our brushes and we got to play with the colors using our palms and fingers. we had two cooking activities for our nutrition month celebration. for one, we had pancake day. we also had fruits and vegetable day — the fruit salad was good but the hodge-podge of vegetables was yucky. (i avoided eating vegetables for quite sometime after this.) i was a silent angel in the manger during our christmas presentation. i remember being the only one who turned in irregular n-gons when the class was told to cut circles of different sizes. (it wasn’t because i didn’t catch the instructions well. it was all because i was the only one who did not get adult help in cutting the circles from cardboard — think cardboard vs. paper scissors here.) we had nap times which always ended with tic tac tic tac says the clock it’s time for the class to wake up and all but one would scramble off the mats — roxanne always went on sleeping.

my dreams were very simple then: (1) i wanted to be an astronaut. (2) i wanted to be able to climb the tall trees in front of the engineering building.

p.s. except for ranran, tingting, and eldani, i don’t know what became of my kindergarten classmates and where they are now. i wonder how they’re doing and if they ever got close to their dreams.