caterpillar talk

“Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.”
–H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life’s Little Instruction Book

these days, i know people aren’t pulling my leg when they say, “oi, tumataba ka na!”

i can see and feel the change myself. i’m growing into my clothes (i’d rather say it that way instead of “i’m outgrowing my clothes”) — my pants, most especially. before, i had no trouble putting them on but lately i’ve been struggling to fit into them. nowadays, i have to wriggle my way in. i badly need new pairs and all of them new pairs have to be at least a size bigger! swear.

just last weekend, the locking button of my fave cargo pants popped off. nope, the thread did not give way — the button-holes of the dear button gave up on me!

the thing is, i am not growing a belly. i am simply growing, growing, growing.

i’m still reed thin (i dare say; and i am probably still underweight?) but…

if they see me now, people who know my history of being ridiculously thin (through grade school, high school, college, graduate school…) could tell that i’ve recently achieved progress with my (lack of) weight issue.

i never thought it would really happen. even those who get to see me everyday didn’t fail to notice.

i have grown a bit heavier and a bit bigger. i do not need a weighing scale nor a tape measure to verify the claim. you can see it on my cheeks. you can see it when you see me.

“namimintog eh.”

“kung dati mukha ka lang grade three; ngayon nagmumukha ka ng grade six. oi, nagdadalaga na”

“nakakaaliw. you’re looking better.“

“bagay pala sa ‘yo napapagod.” (sabay sundot sa iba: “hiyang na hiyang. dagdagan nyo pa trabaho nito!”)

hehe. tama bang alaskahin ako?

p.s. i don’t believe in rice shortage.

“You cannot help but learn more as you take the world into your hands. Take it up reverently, for it is an old piece of clay, with millions of thumbprints on it.”
–John Updike

one thing i realized when i started running my own place: cleaning is therapeutic. other people may find this too trivial that they either take this for granted or fail (worse, refuse) to recognize but, for me, this is one great realization.

with “running my own place,” i mean paying for the rent, taking care of the bills, spending for the house needs, looking after my own, keeping my place clean and organized, minding the laundry, etcetera — the works so to speak — with my own pocket, my own sweat, my own efforts.

for close to six months, i lived in laguna and had a place to look after all on my own. click here to see glimpses. then, i moved to another crib in batangas. click here for another set of glimpses.

ever since i transferred to batangas from laguna, i never had the time to go to the laundry shop or look for a laundry shop or a manang labandera for that matter — so busy-busy-busy, OT most of the time — so i resorted to doing all the laundry myself. i go to work early, arrive home late and i de-stress by doing the laundry.

on some days that i do get to step out of the workplace early, i spend and enjoy after-work hours with my friends visiting places… but when i go home, i still have the energy to do house stuff including my current fave chore: doing the laundry!

i honestly don’t know what has gotten into me. i got excited on running my own place that i am now able to do housework willingly. just recently, my housemate and i acquired a rice cooker. soon, we will be buying a stove. we’re excited to cook! i’m planning on getting a TV and a washing machine.

yup, mentioning the washing machine which i don’t have yet means i’ve been diligently doing all the laundry by hand. ;-D joyce, my housemate, is saying maybe i’ll surprise everyone by switching careers pretty soon — i might just follow the “other” path and start running a laundry business. hahaha!

as i write this, i also get to remember that, sometime ago, somebody wrote about the youth being desensitized when it comes to doing household chores. i am not sure if by writing this i am making a case against it — maybe not because that is not my intention. i merely wanted to share a realization — something which i’ve already done in the first paragraph. now, let me go back to it.

one of my friends rationalized and summarized cleaning’s therapeutic benefits into this one thought: when you clean your own place, organize your own stuff, and take care of your own house affairs to the point that you brush-clean your bathroom, at the end of it all, you’re given that liberating feeling that there is still an aspect in your life that you’re still in control of even when the rest of your world seems to be falling apart. i say, amen.

“I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all.”
–Richard Wright

i know. it’s been awhile since i last updated this blog and today can’t wait. in just a few hours, this territory of mine in blogosphere will be on its fourth year of existence.

how time flies, eh?

i’m happy caterpillartalk is still up and running. here and here.

“Every individual has a place to fill in the world
and is important in some respect
whether he chooses to be so or not.”
–Nathaniel Hawthorne

next saturday, i will be living under a different roof. an apartment in batangas is already waiting for me and my officemate slash roadtrip-buddy slash would-be housemate, joyce.

yesterday, we found it — the new place to live in. it’s a one-bedroom apartment with a spacious sala, a kitchen with a number of cabinets, a cute CR (i can’t think of a better adjective; rest assured it’s a neat-looking CR with a shower and a bowl), and a terrace — all tiled and with a gate that can be trusted to keep the unwanted a safe distance away. i made the downpayment today and got the keys.

there are no pictures of the apartment to share for now but i can say that it’s pretty. in the next few weeks (or in the next few days, i should say), my spending will be geared towards acquiring stuff for the place since it’s not furnished unlike my place in sta. rosa.

bed, pillows, aparador, racks, rugs… then, a small table and chairs, and a divider — maybe.

hiking distance ra siya from the church, the barangay hall, the municipal hall, the water district, hospital, dental clinic, beauty salon (lol!), the fire station, the police station, jollibee — yey, chickenjoy!, sakayan, palengke, and mga palitanan ug mga grocery items. what’s more, if we’re out walking towards the highway, we get to see a beautiful view of mt. makiling. so far, all the dogs we encountered in the area are tied and are inside their respective cages — hihi.

our would-be next-door neighbors are 4 working girls who are about our age — we have yet to meet them but the owner of the building told me they speak bisaya. i am hoping that this means bisaya as in cebuano.

the move is all part of a preparation. this may will sure be hell month (yes, forget hell week. it’s hell month, baby) — this despite may being my second fave month of the year next to december. work will be very, very demanding (hence, the need to live in batangas area since the bulk of my work is no longer in sta. rosa) and there’s that very, very big possibility that so little of me will get to my friends.

’tis may soon and i’ve prepared myself for “the long, hard pull”. hopefully, i will be proven wrong about this may being hell month. who knows? may 2008 might just usher in more great things for me and those dear to me. praying. believing. affirming. yeah!

04.16.08. taking this photo jolted me back to reality

i set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. but when i woke up, i had to rush because i was already running an hour late. what was i thinking relying on that alarm!? duh.

i managed to squeeze in my usual hour’s worth of morning rituals into 20 minutes and by 6:50 a.m., i was out of my place and making my way to work.

i hailed a tricycle to take me to where the company shuttle usually picks me up for my 7 o’clock ride.

time check: 6:50 a.m.
reality check: a tricycle ride from my place of stay to pick-up point takes at least 15 minutes.

boy, was i running late! worse, the driver of the tricycle decided to take a detour to the gasoline station. i wanted to blurt out, “manong, ma-le-late na po ako!” but i held back and bit the tip of my tongue as an attempt at temper management. inside, i was seething. argh. of all days! of all times! how can a potentially good day start bad?

“Lord, help me.”

my patience was thinning out so early in the morning. i mustered for control over the temper that was about to blow over. i tried to divert my attention to what’s around me and, in the distance, i saw the rising sun. i told myself i should take a picture of it, so i did.

it may not be the best sunrise photo but it’s something worth sharing. when i took it, i experienced a turning point.

as i was fumbling with my phone, getting ready to take my shot, i noticed the time. the display said, 5:57 a.m.

wham!

all along, i was moving disoriented, warped. when i woke up and read 5:30 a.m., i mistook it for 6:30 a.m. ding di ding!!!

bwahahahahahaha…

just when i thought i was running an hour late, i was, in fact, being one hour early. (kay naunsa ka, val?)

one thing i did not fail to recognize, He was quick in answering my simple prayer. His timing’s impeccable.

i needed that experience, that morning, that day to remind me that, yes, He’s still watching over me and paying attention even to the smallest of my utterances.