caterpillar talk

“May the wind under your wings bear you
where the sun shines and the moon walks.”
– Gandalf in The Hobbit

i made him wait. would you believe? i made him wait for years. why, oh, why? i shouldn’t have. kicking myself for it would do me no good now. i made tolkien wait. booh.

i remember stopping and putting down the book. only a few pages into the hobbit and i thought the language was beyond me. how then could i get to the lord of the rings if i couldn’t even see myself through the prequel? nipped in the bud, my affair with tolkien — that’s what happened. see? had no need for a nosebleed. so goodbye. goodbye bag-end. goodbye shire. goodbye bilbo. goodbye going there and back again. goodbye story.

fast-forward to some years later and lo! i saw my close-to-being-forgotten and still unread tolkien books. hello bag-end. hello shire. hello bilbo. hello gandalf. hello dwarves. take me with you… there and back again.

well, they did! tolkien saw to it!

a mind-blowing adventure, it was! i soon said hello to frodo, sam, merry and pippin, and joined them in the grandest cause-worthy adventure in the realm of middle-earth. i wanted to stay there.

what more can i say? j.r.r. tolkien wrote the story the way it should be written and did not rush to get to the ending. j.r.r. tolkien, a thorough storymaker and an ever-patient storyteller. i, a late-bloomer of a reader… and, fortunately for me, the story did not grow too old to be told. methinks it’s the kind that maintains its appeal and has the willingness to wait for generations to come.

needless to say, i was wrong about the language being beyond me. i was wrong about the potential nosebleed…

…but there was one phrase i encountered in the lord of the rings that really got me thinking even after i was done reading. others might have overlooked it and have not given it much thought because it has such simple words: “unhappy but not sad.”

unhappy but not sad. now, what does that phrase mean? i sincerely need others’ inputs.

“Take the ultimate mental challenge! Baffling logic problems and cryptograms… 3D mazes, optical illusions and conundrums… visual and verbal teasers… tantalizing word games and maths puzzles - enjoy them all…”
– www.readersdigest.co.uk

a collection of puzzles and mental challenges in loose-leaf pages

c”,)(”,)(–,)
we asked for it. we got it.
yey, my father is really the man!

“Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?”
– The Little Mermaid

i collect…

books. i love books. i adore good reads. i collect them. i like owning them. i check out book shops even in unlikely nooks and corners just to find the books i want to add to my collection. it’s my dream to have my own library. i already have a mini one. i have 200+ books to date and i’m still keen on acquiring more.

piled up to the ceiling: how come there’s no more space?

lest you think i only stack ‘em up for mere display, let me say for the record that i do read them. see, i like reading. no, not like, love. i love reading. i can forego eating, drinking water, sleeping, and going to the cr when i’m soooo into finishing a good read. i can be so obsessive when it comes to reading and books. i sometimes think that it’s not me who owns my books. it’s probably the other way around — my books own me.

i intend to add more comic books to my collection. i dig those works by filipino graphic book artists. i also want to own those pcij books, too… and more of calvin and hobbes!!!

movies.

they all come with stickers. they’re not pirated.

postage stamps. during my elementary years, i was into philately — collecting stamps. aside from reading, collecting stamps was my way of discovering and appreciating other countries.

i only managed to put a few of them in an album. most of them stamps i kept in envelopes and i still have to mount them. now, there’s something for my to do list. i have to keep that in mind.

i re-discovered my old stamp collection two weeks ago while i was looking for my ’still-missing-in-action’ unicorn cross-stitch pattern.

stationery. i’ve been collecting stationery since grade school. scented ones, colorful ones, simple ones, small ones, big ones, medium-sized ones, those with people and those without, nicely illustrated ones… i have them in various colors, shapes and sizes. i also have a collection of hotel stationery. i keep a lot of them in a stationery holder i designed myself. some of them i already transferred to a clear book for easy viewing.

some of the sheets in this collection are more than 15 years old

even back then, i knew i won’t be writing on them. i only wanted to collect them… and the ones i have in duplicate, i’d be willing to trade with what other stationery collectors have in duplicate — just like what we girls used to do in grade school.

key holders. i dig key holders but since i don’t have many keys to call my own, i don’t usually use most of them. i simply collect them. sometimes, i use them to adorn my bags… but most times, they’re just hidden somewhere. i treasure them because a lot of them are gifts/pasalubong from my friends.

key holders minus the keys

when i left home for my graduate studies, my younger sisters didn’t know what to do with the pile of key holders i left behind so they pushed pins on the wooden panel in the girls’ room and displayed them there.

the ones that are still inside the packs are reserved for future cars, future houses, and future whatever. hehe.

stickers. a lot of the stickers in my collection date back to my elementary years and were given to me by my classmates and friends.

what will i do with them? just keep them.

trinkets. dangling earrings and hoop earrings. chokers. necklaces with weird-looking pendants. bracelets and bands. hair accessories. i have those.

the dangling and hoop earrings? i won’t survive wearing them. i simply collect them. no, i’d like to think that i buy them para pang-asar, as one of my friends put it. i prefer wearing simple studs.

candy wrappers. back in college, one of my classmates kept lots of coins in his backpack’s pocket. his bag was always heavy but it was never because of books. it was always because of his coins. as for me, i kept lots of candy wrappers in my backpack’s pocket. they weren’t heavy to carry around but they were really many. kanya-kanyang ka-weirdo-han.

…and you know what? it’s been four years since i left college but the said candy wrappers have not found their way to any of the trash bins yet.

yes, the candy wrappers are still with me. no, not really. they’re inside one of the bags i no longer use. i put them there because, while i no longer want to carry them around, i don’t want to really part with them yet. memories, you know. i figure i’ll make a throw pillow and stuff them candy wrappers in it.

aha, another addition to my to do list.

i also collect unused disposable table napkins from food shops and restos (i usually make my friends sign them — the disposable table napkins, not the shops/restos), letters and greeting cards (even those from people i don’t like), travel brochures (for scrapbooking purposes and future travels), quotes (why do you think i keep posting quotes?), travel tickets (for scrapbooking purposes, too), gift wrappers, art materials (i pile ‘em up first before i put my heart into using them), souvenir shirts (wherever i go, i have to have a shirt from that place), movie/concert tickets (that is if they find their way back into my hands), coins, event IDs/name tags, and colorful socks.

i collect nothing and everything. teddy bears, too.

“Let her cry, for she’s a lady
Let her dream, for she’s a child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She’s a free and gentle flower, growing wild”
– Wildflower, Color Me Badd

i went home. i could say that it was a spur of the moment thing. sure, i was hell bent on sticking to my schedule but something in me snapped.

to hell with schedule!

i woke up one day and felt too sad. in my attempt to uplift my spirits, i thought hard of what it was that i really wanted to do.

i thought of going home. i wanted to be in mindanao. i wanted to see my iligan. i missed my room. i missed being home.

my room, my stuff: these and some other things, i tend to miss

4th of january 2006. that’s the last time i was in my hometown. 17th of august 2006, thursday. that’s the day i woke up feeling too sad. the first thing i did when i got to the lab? i emailed my friend, yoni, and told her that i wanted to steal some time… to be on a vacation… to see something i’ve been deprived of for eight months already — my real home.

i emailed her in the morning. by nightime, i already had a roundtrip reservation. the next day, i went out to claim my ticket before reporting for work. ohhhhhh… i realized i was being impulsive. to be honest, i trembled with the realization.

considering that i have a deadline on the 4th of september, i wasn’t expected to be away. nevertheless, i got my ticket and quickly sealed my going-home plans without consulting my adviser first. i only had friday to let him know that i was going out of town…

18th of august 2006. friday. i went to the lab after my trip to the ticket outlet and multi-tasked by preparing for the experiments to be done that day and drafting necessary letters. i also edited technical documents to be sent out to our funding agency. i also used up the time to prepare for my then would be talk with my adviser regarding my unexpected trip. no, i had no plans of going AWOL. it was important for me that i had to let him know. around noon time, he came in and asked if i’ve already eaten. he decided that i should accompany him and his family to bicutan for an important business.

on our way to bicutan, sir’s wife asked, “so val—, when are you going home?” i said, “sa october pa po ako pwedeng umuwi…” and then, like a very excited and very hopeful child, i quickly addressed sir and said “pero, sir, pwede po ba akong umuwi bukas?” mwe he he he.

our conversation went on like this…

adviser: uuwi ka na. uuwi ka na. ba’t ka uuwi?
me: sir, sandali lang naman po. by wednesday morning, i’ll be back here.
adviser: ah, sandali lang naman pala. matagal ka na palang hindi nakikita sa inyo. kelan ka ba last nakauwi?
me: january po ako last nakita sa amin, doc.
adviser: ah, so my ticket ka na. sige, balik ka kaagad.
me: yes, by wednesday, i’m back. pramis.

hewwww… cool. i was delighted and excited.

very early morning of 19th of august 2006. saturday. i didn’t sleep anymore. i made quick preparations for my trip. at about 3am, i left diliman and headed for the airport on a taxi cab. but, first, i made a sidetrip to yoni’s place in shaw boulevard to fetch her. (yes, i wasn’t going home alone.) next, we made another sidetrip to makati to fetch yoni’s friend, athan. then, off we went to the airport to catch the first flight out of manila, bound for cagayan de oro.

by 6:30am, our plane landed on mindanao soil. i blurted out “yes, i’m here… after eight months.” yoni said, “after two, three months for me.” then, i said, “after 24 years, for athan.” ha ha ha… anyway, yoni and i laughed and laughed as we got off the plane. she received a text message from the taxi driver who was supposed to fetch her but didn’t show up according to schedule. the message sent us laughing our hearts out. it said, “maam, sorry po. nakakain kasi ako ng pampatulog kagabi. 5am na ako nagising.” bwahahaha… nakakain ng pampatulog. to us, that’s very funny and interesting.

wow, it felt good to be walking on mindanao soil again. it felt good to hear bisaya being spoken all around me. it felt soooo good…

well, except that i took the first flight, got reunited with my friends, had a swell white water rafting adventure (this definitely deserves a separate blog entry), got a well-deserved sunburn (ha ha!), went home (yesssss!), surprised my friends and family (i didn’t tell them i was going home, they weren’t expecting me), spent three lazy days at home (hu-wow!), saw my room and my books and went around the city, i did nothing much. hahaha, as usual, i’m saying “nothing much”.

the book collection i built on my own during my college days
and the mini library the whole family is still building up

by the way, my hair’s considerably shorter now. my mama had my tresses cut the night before i went back to manila. just as well… i’m back to wearing ribbons on my hair. he he he.

hair talk!

as a result of my caprice, i’m again all of a sudden several thousands poorer. so what? keeping my sanity is far more important than my savings account. i went for what i wanted and came back happy.

owkey, gotta go now. ’til my next entry, peeps!

hala ka doh. dear diary jud kaayo ni. kung tapulan ka mobasa, ayaw na lang jud basa.

ako na jud sa busy kaayo og kalag (char!). murag all over the place ra kaayo akong drama. niadtong miaging biyernes, gikan diliman, nakaabot kog bicutan, taguig ako ra isa. naa koy gilakad nga butang nga naa jud tawon kalambigitan sa akong kaugmaon. hinuon, dili man to nako first time moadto didto nga ako ra isa. bisan talawan kaayo ko ug grabe akong pagka-talakitoks (kung motukar), maayo man ko maglaroy-laroy nga walay kuyog. ako pah! tapos from bicutan, nibalik kog diliman to attend to my duties (pagkabam!). boring? wala pa ko nahuman, okay. relaks lang bay. nanukad pa lang ko…

adtong done na ko sa akong duties for the day and medyo pangitngit na, nibiya na pud kog diliman ug akong gidala akong self didto sa shangri-la plaza sa mandaluyong. niadto ko didto kay naa didto naghulat akong gwapa nga amiga ug tulo mi kabuok nag-abot didto kay bisitaon namo among cook nga nagsakit. sosyal among cook (dili jud basta basta kay naa gud syay foreign accent, valedictorian pa jud sa high school). busa adtong nagsakit siya, nagpa-admit jud siya didto sa hotel… este… sa medical city. kami na jud sa akong mga gwapa nga amiga sa mga mobisita kay wala jud mi nagdalidali. nag-kaon-kaon, nag-tabi-tabi ug nag-lakaw-lakaw pa mi sa may pasig before mi nakasakay og taxi padulong sa medical city a.k.a. hotel nga hospital. okey ra biya among cook, dengue ra man iyang sakit (aaaay! medyo kulba pud biya diay) pero kelangan lang jud niyag moral support (charrus!) and show of concern from her trusted friends (ahem ahem).

after sa among hospital-slash-hotel visit and after nakakaon kog persimmon (ha, dili na jud ko igno og persimmon kay katilaw na jud ko!), nangadto mi sa akong mga gwapa nga amiga sa watering hole didto sa shangri-la, mandaluyong for another all-girls night out (kami na jud!). nalingaw mi sa among gipang-order na san mig light and tequila sunrise. hehehe, mura mig kinsang mga korek. adtong napul-an nami didto sa watering hole (kay nahurot na among mga gipang-order), nangadto mi sa malate. wait! wala mi nag-malate para magpadayon og inom or what, nangadto mi didto para matulog didto sa condo unit sa akong amiga. hapit one o’clock mi naka-abot sa malate pero sa sobraan namo katabian, alas-tres sa kadlawon nami nakatulog. kami na jud sa mga daghan ikapagarpar, bahalag makulangan og tulog basta makatabi lang. kay mga tabian lagi! ana jud tingali pag puro bisaya mag-abot. pagkabuntag, nanguli nami sa among tagsa tagsa ka ginasak-an. taymsa ha, dili pa end of story. dili pah. ingon biya ko nga taas ni…

so, di ba, from malate nibalik kog diliman (to attend to my duties again, charrus). tapos, pagkahapon kay nagkuyog mi ni volcano padulong sa gateway didto sa cubao para makigkita sa among kaubang bisdak nga si jory. ang plano man jud adto kay magkitakita ang mga manila-based bisaya bloggers pero kay kami ra man ang ever-present sa mga kitakits, kami rang tulo ang nag-abot. nag-food trip na sab mi!

among first stop (after checking out digital cameras on display in gateway) kay ang hotshots sa araneta area; nanglibre si jory og burgers and fries. tungod kay pare-pareho man ming mga hayok sa camera ug mahilig magpicture-picture, gikuhaan jud namog hulagway among gi-order ug ang among mga selves. kay kailangan jud lagi i-document ang laag…

from hotshots, niadto mi sa nearby ice monster and ordered three cups of our chosen flavors. lingaw kaayo mi sa among gibuhat. samot pa ming ka-happy adtong na-realize namong tulo nga pare-pareho diay mig dream destination dire sa pilipinas: batanes!

over cups of ice treats, we became instant future-batanes-trip-buddies. amo jud giplano kung kanus-a mi mangadto up north. among aim kay at the age of 23, dapat makatunob na jud mi sa batanes. abi jud nako nga ako ray excited kaayo mag-batanes. juice mio, mas excited ang jory! gusto niya insigida, “now na!”, ora mismo manglupad naming tulo pa-batanes. unsaon?! pero siyempre, kelangan pugngan ang excitement sa bata, kay unsaon na lang, di ba?

from ice monster, ningsulod mig balik sa gateway para i-check ang screening sked sa mga salida kay basin diay maengganyo ming manan-aw og sine (pagka— na lang jud namo!). medyo wala man mi na-excite sa mga salida nga showing kay kita naman mi sa latest harry potpot starring the visually yummy cedric diggory and the stunning viktor krum, so ning-proceed mi sa next item sa among itinerary (ehehehe, itinerary sa among hunahuna ra gud) — tan-aw og concert didto sa may e. rodriguez! take note ha, nag-change mig venue… from gateway, ningsakay mig taxi para padulong didto sa e. rodriguez to watch a free concert.

samtang nagbiyahe mi padulong e. rodriguez, gikanta jud namo ang ‘most requested song’ in visayas and mindanao… ang ‘people stay’! syempre, pare-pareho ming bisdak nga nagdako sa northern part of mindanao, so kabisado jud namo ang tono sa kanta… hahahah

aaaaay, naa pud diay mi trip nga bag-ong kanta nakuha from the concert, ang maka-LSS nga ‘dzyey’.

hahaha, grabeng yaga-yaga. after sa concert, wala mi kabalo kung unsa among sunod buhaton. half-hearted mi mouli, half-hearted sab mi magpadayon og laag kay hapit naman to alas-onse. sa among pagkawalay klaro, nakabalik na lang mig gateway, wala pa mi ka-decide kung unsa ba jud. ningsulod mig 7eleven. naghinanggatay mi nga mangaon na sab, pero pare-pareho ra sab ming nangdecline. naghinanggatay sab mig inom, pero pare-pareho ra sab ming nibalibad. mag-greenbelt daw aron change na pud og venue, pero wala ra pud nadayon. kami na jud sa mga wala kasabot sa among mga gusto. so, nagdecide na lang mi nga manguli. ‘okey, manguli na ta. manguli na jud ta’ but noooooooooooooooo….

nakakita mig pagkaon sa bread talk og nakakita sab mig starbucks, so nakalimot na hinuon mi nga manguli na diay mi. ang ending, instead na mangatang na unta mig sakyanan pauli, nisulod mig starbucks, nag-order og 2 cups of frappucino and 1 cup of tea tapos niadto mi sa bread talk aron mokaon og higante nga pan.

pag pare-parehong mga laagan og tabian jud lagi nga mga bisdak ang mag-uban… lingaw to the max jud!

still photos from the making of ‘handumanan sa usa ka awit’ the movie featuring the song ‘people stay’ (with ‘dzyey’ as bonus track), hahaha

pagka-ugma, wala pa mi sumhi og lakaw-lakaw, nag-abot na sab ming tulo! mura pud mig wala pa sumhi sa among mga dagway, sige lang mig kitakita. nangadto mi sa warehouse sale sa national bookstore ug nagkugi jud tawon mig pangukay sa mga kalibrohan didto sa pioneer st., mandaluyong. (kay mga book-lovers lagi!!!) tapos, bisan sobraan na mi kakapoy sa among kabuang, gipahimuslan jud namo ang mrt og lrt 3 kay libre man ang rides. from boni station, niadto mig cubao station para motunob sa AMOANG gateway ug magpakabusog (kaon na sab!), tapos sakay sa lrt 3 aka purple line aron monaog sa gilmore. grabe na. kami na jud sa mga nangitag lingaw. pati railway transpo gi-trip-an!

adtong monday kay holiday man, so niadto kog alabang aron manimpalad ug mag-invest sa future sa pilipinas (ahem ahem, walay moangal, maabilidad biya ko). tapos kagabii kay nakaabot kog san pedro, laguna kay ningkuyog ko sa akong amahan para bisitaon iyang cute nga apo nga cute nako nga pag-umangkon. from laguna, nibyahe mi pabalik metro manila ug natulog mi sa makati, tapos kaganinang buntag nibalik na sab ko sa diliman.

lakawana jud nako oi. ako na jud! in fairness, wala pa pud baya ko nalipong. hala ka, ugma kay weekend na sab…