caterpillar talk

today, caterpillar talk is officially two years old. thank you readers for all the comments and for the interactions (virtual and otherwise). you make blogging fun and rewarding.

smorgasbord: some selected lines…

may 2004: what i really long for right now is a lengthy and meaty conversation, and not this task of typing down words as if i’m talking to the monitor.

june 2004: this attempt at blogging is doing wonders for me. i’m beginning to understand a little bit (according to my own reckoning) of html coding. yehey! i’m learning!

july 2004: my mind is old, but my senses are young…

august 2004: letting go is more painful yet more rewarding than holding on.

september 2004: my life, it seems, is literally a blur.

october 2004: i don’t like airports!!! they always make me feel miserable.

november 2004: i’ll not lose anything if my wishes don’t come true, but i have something to gain if they do come true… and that’s the comforting thought with wishing.

december 2004: you see, when you have many sets of friends, it’s so difficult to make them come together. for my case, it’s so complicated. i think spending time with all of them together in one go would only bring out my almost-always-hidden multiple personalities, hahaha! it’s too dangerous, i think.

january 2005: i have to keep going, if not for myself, then at least for someone else…

february 2005: speed got me when i was just a kid. i wasn’t 5 years old then when i got dragged by a fast-moving motorcycle. why? because i thought i could run as fast as the motorcycle!

march 2005: i don’t wanna pursue one dream, give up the other and, in the end, be haunted by the dream i did not choose. if only i can have my cake and eat it, too…

april 2005: ah, i would love to find myself in caleruega again! the comforting silence, the breath-taking scenery, the sweet scent of the air, the beauty… my soul found a new home there.

may 2005: a thousand heartwarming moments are treasures that all the money in the world can’t buy, but i can have them. you can have them, too.

june 2005: the girl that i am today is already years and leaps apart from the little girl that i was, yet there are things far better than my childhood memories with papang that continue to stay with me… his time, his unconditional love, his passion for providing for the family and giving us what money cannot buy, his showing us what things in life are truly important, his good values, the freedom that he gave me and my brother, his support and guidance through his sound decision-making skills, his genes, his name.

july 2005: i know… i ought to stop whining. i shouldn’t drown the world with my troubles for the problems out there are far greater than whatever ails me…

august 2005: when i was in grade one, i belonged to the end of the spectrum. i was in the last section…

september 2005: i cannot go on deceiving myself that i’m still okay because no matter what, i still know that for every moment of happiness that i find here, really being home could make me feel so much more…

october 2005: be ready with screwdrivers and derring-do. computers need r and r, too. r and r as in re-seating of modular devices and reinstallation.

november 2005: my heart broke so perfectly into a million and one pieces — had the wind fiercely blown the tiny pieces away, they would have scattered like bloodied rose petals on the ground and become puzzle pieces that would never again fit…

december 2005: to hell with suckers. ha ha.

january 2006: my parents regard me as secretive. they’re familiar with my tendency to hold back talking about certain things. they know that i have the tendency to wait for the last crazy minute before i share anything too personal. they know that i don’t tell them a lot of things. they know that despite my being such an incessant talker, i still keep a lot to myself.

february 2006: i’m such an incurable romantic, i don’t really buy the valentine crap. love is sacred and should not be commercialized. you can make me feel giddy on other days… with sweet gestures that have nothing to do with flowers, chocolates, jewelry or dinners in fancy restaurants.

march 2006: maybe what i've been told is true: the answer will just come to me when the universe knows i'm ready. when my right time comes, i'll fall freely into what i'm destined to be and i'll truly, madly, deeply be happy.

april 2006: sometimes i think it's just my pride still holding me together. haha, i wanted that to be funny… but it's heartbreakingly funny.

may 2006: play in the rain up there in benguet, I DID!!! weeeeeeeeeeee….

dragon boat rowing. selling ice candy in front of malate church. trip to thailand manila zoo. selling bottled water in the streets of makati. ice skating in megamall. relay in mandaluyong. all that during one fine saturday!

it all started with gail asking the manila-based bisaya bloggers to block-out their may 20 schedule for her. her group, the YUPPeace (young upbeat professional for peace), was organizing an amazing race-inspired activity and she wanted the bisaya bloggers to participate. fun-loving people and adventurers that we are, zimm, kuya toto, jory, sealdi and i said yes. we committed ourselves to join the one-day activity eventhough we had no idea of the tasks that will be assigned to us. the mere mention of "amazing race" was interesting enough… nice bait so we bit!

the details we got from gail via SMS were: may 20, 2006. meeting place: CCP parking lot, manila bay. be there 7am. wear blue shirt. bring swim wear and goggles. medicines, if you need any. extra money. extra clothes.

ulk… swim wear. goggles… and what?! manila bay?!

when i saw the words "swim wear", "goggles" and "manila bay" i think my eyes popped out, my head spun, and i quickly reconsidered taking back my "yes". there was just no way i was going to take a dip in manila bay… not even with the promise of a million pesos. nooooooooooo…. sure i can get crazy enough to walk on very fine broken pieces of glass, burning coals and tightrope but dip in manila bay?? no way!

gail's reply to my request for "no manila bay dip" assurance wasn't quite assuring: part of the game. not sure if there will really be swimming. bring swim wear and goggles, just in case. be there on saturday, 8am (not 7am as originally scheduled). wear blue shirt.

since i was looking for adventure and after some summer fun, i forgot about backing out and found myself and my backpack in the manila bay area on the morning of may 20, saturday. zimm, kuya toto, jory, gail and the YUPPeace were already there when i arrived and the activity was just about to kick off. ahh, i admire my timing! (let's just forget that i was actually late and gail somehow worried that i got lost in the manila jungle. hehehe.)

bisaya bloggers + YUPPeace = amazing race

amazing race YUPPeace edition 2006. 3 teams, 3 colors: yellow. red. blue.

bisaya bloggers in blue!

1st challenge: dragon boat race in manila bay

i thought i'd never get around to being part of a dragon boat rowing team. what do you know? the opportunity came to me last saturday and i grabbed it with much excitement. yes!!! i'll no longer wonder what it's like to be on a dragon boat, rowing. i've experienced it!!!

after a warm-up session, all of us participants had a crash course on dragon boat rowing courtesy of one of the key people of the national team (read: 2005 SEAGames dragon boat race champion). we were shown how to hold the quite expensive oars (PhP3K each and imported from canada) properly: one hand should firmly hold the "T" and the other should be on the "shaft" to control the angle of the "blade". we were told that "stroke" means right and "bow" means left. the other terms we kept track of were "backwater", "standby position" and "entry".

yes, we're eager learners… but somebody got distracted by the "barako" bodies of the SEAG rowers, hehehe.

then, it was time for the real thing… the dragon boat could hold twenty rowers but for our challenge, only ten rowers were needed: five on the "bow" side and five on the "stroke" side. the experience was great!!! i loved it!we, members of the blue team, learned things so fast. we're so proud of our performance! when we were already out there in the middle, our instructor and "drum beater" asked four of us in the "bow" side to change positions to maximize the team's potential. the act of standing up and walking on the boat was quite exciting (and scary, too). gail and i had to let out our ear-piercing shrieks because, at one point, we thought the boat would overturn (and you could just imagine what's next!) due to all the motion of people standing up. fortunately, my much feared dip in manila bay didn't happen. all of us had our share of very minor splashes of manila bay water on our arms and thighs though courtesy of how we moved our oars in the water when we were told to row hard. it was such a grand experience to row as a team. every merciless ray of the late morning sun and every drop of water on our skin was worth it! gail, who got kissed by the water (hahaha…), could attest to this.

the dragon boat experience of the yellow team and the red team captured on cam.

the rowing team to beat

after the dragon boat race (what race? the blue team had so much edge, i said so. hehehe), all teams got the 1st clue and raced towards the next stop: fountain area beside aristocrat restaurant, in front of malate church.

leading the pack: happily making our way to the grand fountain

agile and addicted to winning (gail says we have major issues on rejection and losing, that's why — and i agree with her), our team got to the fountain area ahead of teams yellow and red. in fact, zimm and kuya toto were able to rush to the venue ahead of the game marshalls who're to give the task and the next clue! talk about agility and ability!

task: sell 20 pcs. of ice candy (PhP5 each) in the bay area

hehehe… imagine us (read: people in blue, sweaty from the walking/running we had to do in order to get from the CPP parking lot area to that grand fountain in baywalk) selling ice candy to people we don't know and convincing them to shell out PhP5 for ice candy that actually costs only PhP2! we're quite good, we completed the task in no time and got the next clue for the next stop.

we all got on a jeepney in front of malate church and egged the driver on to go as fast as the streets would allow and head right away to manila zoo!

smiling faces: we're going to the zoo!

task: give the scientific names of hippopotamus, african lion, leopard, eagle owl, tiger, philippine cockatoo…

wanted: scientific names! ack!

only four of our teammates were allowed to go inside the zoo to look for the scientific names. the rest of us waited outside…hay! this task took more time than what we were willing to spend. it's the marshalls' fault, not our teammates'! (hahaha, gotta blame others! *winks*) as a result, the yellow team caught up with us and we lost this round to them. what?! yellow team got our precious lead from us? we lost our preciousssssssssssss?

anyway, while we waited for our teammates to finish their task inside the zoo, we camped by the zoo's entrance and played a fun round of "shagidi shagidi shapopo". we followed jory's graceful movements while chanting. in no time, we were quite a sight! we shamelessly provided a short-lived entertainment showcase by the zoo's entrance with our cultural dance-inspired actions and "shagidi" chanting. oh, what fun!!!

at the zoo's entrance

our next stop was somewhere in filandia. we rode on a jeepney (taxi cab rides and hitch rides were not allowed by the marshalls) and got to this car shop…

task: car washing!

when we got to the shop, the yellow team was already there. three of their selected members were quite done with putting "shampoo" on the car they were tasked to clean. as for our team, we had to wait for a car to drive in…

…until finally, dzan dza raaaaaaaaan… fanfare and drum roll please: jory and gail found a new calling… car washing!

after they made the car look squeaky clean, we got our next clue and off we went to the next stop: don bosco - makati… to catch up with the yellow team.as soon as we got off the jeepney that took us near don bosco, we immediately headed for the spot where the game marshalls were… to ask for our next task.

task: sell bottled water (15 bottles at PhP15 each)

this task made us realize how very difficult it is to convince people on jeepneys and on the sidewalks to buy bottled water. it's not easy to find yourself on the street calling out to people to buy something from you. moreover, it is quite disheartening when the people you're trying to sell to completely ignore you. lesson learned: at least acknowledge the presence of the vendor. even if you don't buy anything, be kind enough to at least make the other person feel that you're aware of his/her presence… it means a lot to a person who's making an honest living.

blue team eventually completed the task (after the yellow team did and before the red team got their share of bottled water to sell). we had our lunch and after a few minutes of rest, it was our time time to proceed to the megamall for the next task.

at this point, we were able to catch up with the yellow team as we managed to get on the same train with them. hehehe. when we got to our stop in ortigas, teams blue and yellow raced against each other to get to the skating rink.

task: ice skating

only 6 members of each participating group were allowed to do this part of the game. the 6 "skaters" of each team were required to make two complete trips around the rink without holding the sidebars. lucky for us, there are members of our team who really knew how to skate… blue team (our team!) was the first team to get the clue for the next and last stop. we were quite a sight as we (and the yellow team as well!) rushed out of the megamall. destination: don bosco - mandaluyong for the final showdown.

task: swimming relay

who won? blue team with the manila-based bisaya bloggers, of course!

the team, our team: where winners belong.

do i still have to say that we had a saturday that's so full of fun?

—
click here for more pictures.
photos included in this post are courtesy of val, zimm, and gail.

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment."
–Author Unknown

i tried to make a summary of my past 365 days and here is what i came up with…

medical mission in marilao, bulacan. hearing my godson kenj's version of ABC over the phone. about 50 trips to the movie houses. prince plaza ii. learning of my kuya's bye-bye to his bachelor days. meeting my then would-be sister-in-law for the first time. laboratory clean ups. bellevue hotel, alabang. baywalk nights with my papang and my kuya. TOSP meetings. yellow cab pizza sundays. trips to central bank. bisaya bloggers eyeball. photo op with junior kilat. fete de la musique. quality time with my cousins from US and singapore. the peninsula - manila. badminton in the zone.

the legend villas. tagaytay days. balai taal. carrying out "angel duties" for the TOSP formation program. research proposal submission. powerpoint presentations and technical reports for the lab. p6peeps get-togethers. billiards and ping pong and wallclimbing. kuya's wedding. experiments, experiments, experiments. laguna trips: cabuyao, pacita, calamba. walking around intramuros. brownman revival in 70's bistro. stalkers. TOSP community's tribute to roco. r&d entry submission. going back to my art. footloose the musical in meralco theatre. going crazy over oh-so-cute and colorful socks. photo ops and chikahan with high school classmates, especially the beautiful gal pals. "marathon-testing" the scents. scientific write-ups and paper submissions. washing my hair with ariel detergent.

business letters, research line-item budgets, quotes, and research project outlines. padi's point araneta center. major laptop troubles. losses, frustrations and blues. boat trip to iloilo. dinners with labmates: batchoy and seafoods. community exposure. scientific conference. group presentation: shamelessly dancing to the rhythm of vhong navarro's don romantiko. island-hopping adventure in guimaras. overnight stay in bacolod. roadtrip around negros island.

setting foot on dapitan, followed by a trip to ozamiz and then to lanao. being home in my iligan. visiting my grandpas and grandmas and being reunited with my titas, titos, cousins and cousins-in-law, their sons/daughters. going home to everything familiar — including lechon roasted by my "mang-lechonay" uncles and cousins. first meeting with my cousin b-boy, our new instik baby boy. videoke session with high school batchmates 'til the wee hours. heartbreak. officially becoming a tita (and to an uber cute and charming chinita baby girl at that!).

drinking session and overnight with the gal pals in malate. painstakingly looking out for the precious dots, dots, dots. lone trips to bicutan, taguig and alabang. seeing the interiors of medical city. having my first bite of the fruit called persimmon. the watering hole. trips to gilmore and e. rodriguez. countless train rides. books!!! bouts with depression and nostalgia. our r&d win! thesis proposal. oblation run. UP lantern parade.

becoming 23. losing my research logbook. painting in starmall. reunion with friends from college. "emceeing" for jerk and tiff's wedding reception. dips in timoga pools. high school reunion. unforgettable december inuman session in manticao with pals from high school. three hair-trimming sessions. weight loss. hair loss. trips to and fro my mindanao. finding comfort in my family. reunion with best friend. equipment problems. only you a.k.a. "tj and jillian" craze. getting sick. lab parties and food fests: pa-ice cream, pa-pizza, etc. lab days and nights, runs, and very stressful moments with fluctuating power supplies. trouble-shooting.

binondo adventure with friends. food trip at a gal pal's place in makati. my very memorable and funny but painful and embarrassing ikot ride dive-off. sta. mesa brickhouse. wine tasting. getting new contact lenses and eyeglasses. sleeplessness. postcard from weng. thesis deadlines. week-long UP fair and eraserfest event with friends from high school. first ever henna tattoo. bisaya bloggers picnic. super jigsaw craze. buying a childhood dream: RC race car. phd comics. eastwood, metro walk, rockwell, greenbelt 3. exploring the south and the north. reunion with favorite roommate in the world. trip to baguio. playing in the rain up there in benguet. biking. very disturbing stalker's emails and amusing fan mails. thesis my quest to follow that star. fruitshakes and the threat of homelessness.

dine-outs and food trips with friends and family: gilligan's island, chowking, tokyo tokyo, old spaghetti house, pancake house, ihaw-one, jollibee, mcdonalds, pizza hut, shakey's, thai canteen, beach house, mang jimmy's, chocolate kiss, cafe donatello, max's, greenwich, kfc, dencio's, big ben, dear manok, tita fannie's, barbecue inn, burger king, goldilocks, super bowl, hotshots, ice monster, starbucks, breadtalk, green tomato, bubble gang toppings, krocodile grille, cravings, almon marina, yellow cab pizza co.!!!

here is the bottom line: let's just say that, in the past 365 days, i've been through and i've been up to — as usual — uhm, nothing much. *winks*

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."
–Tom Stoppard

1. drats. i should stop listening to love songs. sad love songs.

2. aha, diving! i want to try scuba diving. i will try scuba diving. i am interested in sky diving. i am willing to try sky diving. oh, can you picture the thrill?! if it weren't for air resistance, sky diving wouldn't be a sport. it would only be plain suicide… and quite an expensive one at that. plus… plus… as they say, when it comes to sky diving, if at first you don't succeed, there's no next time. wehehehe.

3. can feel, can tell. can hear, can see. can live, can thrive. i swear, i'll bear. can't hurt, can't risk. can't want, can't have. too numb, too tired. i commit, i surrender. hmpf! noooooooo… that's it! i believe i have low EQ. i think i am emotionally unstable. duh, so much for trying to be rational.

4. i am determined to reach batanes before i turn 24. uhm, we'll see what happens to this determination.

5. i am still confused — very, very confused — and somewhat depressed. it doesn't show in my everyday though. see, i am h.a.p.p.y. (and my fingers are crossed behind my back. bleh.)

6. this blog will turn two years old on may 28. weeeeeeeeee… happy birthday, my bloggy! mwah.

7. i am going to watch the movie version of dan brown's the da vinci code. i've read the book a long time ago and i am interested to see tom hanks as robert langdon and audrey tautou as sophie.

8. i think i wanna be clarice starling, if only to get the chance of being face to face with (and earning the favor of) the brilliant and very cunning dr. hannibal lecter.

9. OMG, it's may! yes, i am aware that it's may.

10. i ought to eat yellow cab pizza again soon. i think i'm already suffering from withdrawal syndrome. my trips to sbarro didn't help. ack! patay, adik na talaga.

11. i need another vacation. as in. sun, sea, sand, and open air here i come! waaaaaaa, teka… ba't bumabagyo na?

12. what's up with the philippine political scene lately? same picture? same people? same problems?

13. i almost forgot that it was just last night when i watched mission: impossible iii. i didn't have expectations when i entered the movie house, so i did not have disappointments. i agree that the lamborghini's such a nice car.

14. no day but today. i still hear it in my head: RENT's roger is singing, who do you think you are? barging in on me and my guitar? little girl - hey, the door is that way… and mimi sings out her heart-tugging reply. whew! were you able to watch RENT?

15. i still have to learn how to drive a car on a busy road. bump cars and karts are different. i want to drive the real thing. i want speeeeeeeeeeeed. aws, busy road and speed don't really go together. ha ha.

16. i just learned a few hours ago that my campus in iligan is already a wifi zone. in fact, it has been since mid-march. whoa, how come i found out late?

17. i am currently craving for fruitshakes. i haven't eaten halo-halo nor ice cream this month, and that is quite unusual.

18. how are you doing, people? i'm curious.

19. i want to read another work of carl sagan. i gotta find another sagan book.

20. who me? no, not me. i break but i won't fall apart.

"The only interesting answers are
those which destroy the questions."
–Susan Sontag

i get mails. i always get mails. i get mails everyday. i get mails from my e-groups, from my friends in this and in that, and from my friends here, there and everywhere. i get mails from spammers, too. it has come to a point that i somehow worry if i happen to open any of my email accounts and there's no new mail to either read, read and reply to, or simply delete. (wait a minute, is it just me or something's really not quite right with the last sentence? bah.) i'm so used to getting new mails every day, it's not normal at all if, in a day, i don't have new mail. okay, enough of this. now, let me talk about friendster.

i'm well aware that friendster (yes, that friendster network) is quite a stalker's haven. nah, don't tell me that it's not because i know that it is. if not for my friends and the number of testimonials i already have in my account, i would have long given up on staying as a member — i'm wary of being stalked (with those creepy val— stalkers out there, who wouldn't be?). for quite a long time now, i've set the restrictions of my friendster account to the highest, that is, only my friends can view my full profile and pictures. anyone in the network can send me messages though. then, too, i've limited my log ons to the network. i only log in when i have new messages, new testimonial notifications, new friend requests, and/or alerts for submitted photos from friends.

the only friendster action i take on new testimonials and new friend requests is approval. if i don't like a submitted testimonial to appear in my profile, i don't press the reject button. i simply leave the testimonial as is and allow it to take its space in the new testimonials section for as long as friendster allows it. the same holds true for new friend requests: if i choose not to approve an 'add as a friend' request, i don't hit the reject button. i simply ignore the request and, like the 'cannot be approved' testimonial, it is allowed its space in the new friend requests section for as long as friendster allows it. in this way, i don't become guilty of rejecting testimonials or people. bwehehe.

now, having said that i'm wary of being stalked (in fact, i'm "allergic" to stalkers), it is not to be expected of me to approve new friend requests from friendster people whom i don't personally know. i have to see first how i'm connected to the person and i have to be somewhat assured that the same person is not of suspicious character. yes, i'm quite praning! naturally, if i cannot appreciate our connection in the network or if my gut feel tells me that i ought to be suspicious, i ignore the person's request.

recently, i received a new friend request in friendster. it came with a message and here it is:

From: ********
Date: Saturday, May 06, 2006 10:26:00 PM
Subject: please be my friend
Message:
hi val—!

my name is ******** and i want to add you to my friends…please accept…

by the way, i'm an avid fan of yours…from IIT CSM…your younger sister xx knows about me…

thanks in advance..

ahhhh… fan mail. i must be living an interesting life, i actually have fans. ha ha. ayyyyyy! sheeez. honestly, it's a little bit scary. it somehow makes me worry.

paranoid and ever suspicious being that i am, i checked ********'s friendster account and searched for my sister's 'footprints' on the profile page. based on the testimonial that my sister gave, they're good friends, ******** is not a suspicious character, and blah. so, uhm, okay, that bit relieved me.

******** is now my friend… in friendster.